So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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