Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
