There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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