Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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