OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
