I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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