One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Barsexuality is the new black.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
