And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
