your room smells of hookers.
And success
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
