Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
