I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
