you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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