I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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