I like to think it a success when the cops are called
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
