His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
