He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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