how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize