I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
