Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
