who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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