at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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