I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
