Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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