ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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