saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
