3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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