with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
