Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
