I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
