I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
