Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
