And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
