it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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