My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
