Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my shit smells like andre
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
