I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
