There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
