then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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