real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
