She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
