I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
