why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
