our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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