suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
