why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
