What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
