Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
