This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
