Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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