We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
