my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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